Family and close relations
KEY FIGURES
Unrecognised parents
Number of children: Unknown.
Number of families: Estimated approx. 4,000.
The number of children and families where at least one parent reports having a child of which they are not registrated as a parent. 2020. The figures are subject to uncertainty. Confidence interval (1,800-6,200). Source: Greve et al. (2023).
Childless
29 % of LGBT+ persons ...
15 % of the remaining population ...
... aged 45-64 years do not have children.
Source: Danish Institute for Human Rights’ own calculations based on SHILD (2020).
Family and friends
LGBT+ persons slightly less often have contact with their family ...
LGBT+ persons slightly more often have contact with friends and acquaintances …
... compared to the rest of the population.
Source: Greve et al. (2022)
- Recent years have seen various breakthroughs and progress for LGBT+ families. Several bills intended to increase LGBT+ persons’ opportunities to start a family have either been announced, passed or become effective.
- Rainbow families with three or more parents experience unique challenges. The approx. 4,000 rainbow families in Denmark include an unknown number of children. This is because some parents are not recognised as parents. This affects parents’ right to maternity/paternity leave and children’s right to regular contact with their parents in the event of a break-up or conflict.
- The proportion of singles without children is almost twice as large among LGBT+ persons as in the rest of the population. It is unknown to which extent the difference is a result of family planning obstacles or involuntary childlessness. The weaker contact with close family and a larger proportion of single LGBT+ individuals without children may have implications in old age when there are needs for care and support.
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There is a slight tendency among LGBT+ persons to have more contact with friends and acquaintances on a weekly basis than the rest of the population. This may compensate for the fact that LGBT+ persons have less contact with close and distant family members than the rest of the population.
Editing was completed September 2023
Rainbow or LGBT+ families are described as families where at least one parent identifies as LGBT+. This includes families with a father and a mother, families with two fathers or two mothers, and families with three or more parents. A survey of LGBT+ families conducted by VIVE in 2023 estimates that there is around 95,000 LGBT+ families in Denmark in 2023, and that each of these families includes an average of 2.3 children.
Danish legislation only recognises two legal parents of which one is automatically the one who gave birth. In practice, this means that in families with more than two parents, at least one party will be excluded. There are no available figures for the number of children who live in families where at least one parent is not recognised as such. The above-mentioned survey estimates that in 2020, Denmark had around 4,000 families where at least one parent was not recognised as a parent. The figure is subject to uncertainty, and we cannot say why parenthood was not recognised.
Even though having a child is not considered a human right, the law should protect the relationship between children and their parents. Rainbow families face various legal challenges, especially families with two male parents and families with more than two parents. The current rules can create a hierarchy between the two legal parents and the social parent(s). The VIVE survey finds that the legal challenges have human as well as financial costs for LGBT+ families. It affects the relationship between the child and non-recognised parent when it comes to parental leave, the child’s sick days, digital public systems, right of inheritance and social contact in the event of a break-up.
There is reason to believe that it will be less difficult for LGBT+ persons to start a family in the future, as recent years have seen various breakthroughs and progress.
In 2022, it was decided that co-motherhood shall be registered automatically in connection with insemination not performed by a health professional. In addition, transgender persons shall have a right to parenthood matching their legal sex. And as of 1 January 2024, up to four parents can share 13 weeks of transferrable parental leave, strengthening the rights of LGBT+ families in this area.
Even though homosexuals have had a right to adopt since 2010, only South Africa allows adoption by homosexual couples. In the period 2014-2020, 10-15 children are estimated to have been adopted by Danish homosexual couples. Another option is surrugaci, though homosexual men who have children through surrogacy agreements, cannot have co-fatherhood recognized at birth. As it stands today, they can only adopt their spouse's or partner's child after 2.5 years, also known as stepchild adoption. In 2022, a resolution was adopted recognizing co-fatherhood for children born through an altruistic surrogacy agreement—agreements where no payment is involved. It is expected that a bill introducing co-fatherhood as a legal term will be proposed in 2024.
In the beginning of 2024, a political agreement was reached to ensure stability for children coming to Denmark through foreign surrogacy agreements. The agreement emphasizes the child’s right to family life and ensures that the legislation is amended in line with a ruling against Denmark by the European Court of Human Rights. It was in violation of two children's right to privacy that their Danish non-biological mother was denied the adoption of the children. The political agreement proposes a so-called children's law model, designed to ensure a quick and smooth way to make decisions about parenthood, in the best interest of the child. This model is one of the three models proposed by the government's expert group in 2023 regarding the recognition of parenthood in commercial surrogacy agreements.
The Danish Agency of Family Law, LGBT+ Denmark and the Ministry of the Interior and Health of Denmark have created the website LGBTfamilie.dk (in Danish only), which aims to help LGBT+ persons find relevant information and legislation on family formation. Topics include adoption, reproduction, parental rights, names, sperm donation, egg donation, and marriage.
Unrecognised parents
“It is really important that we are both legally recognised as parents of the child. Especially for me, as I am not biologically connected to Mollie. It is great to know that we have a contract that recognises me as a full parent.”
- Maria (married to Lærke)
As described above, LGBT+ persons face several legal challenges when it comes to starting a family. But they also face practical and economic challenges when it comes to family formation or fertility treatment.
Several of the respondents from the 2023 VIVE survey of LGBT+ families’ interaction with the healthcare system in connection with family formation are uncertain about the rules and lack guidance from professionals. Some even felt compelled to lie about being a couple – even if they are just friends – to access fertility treatment in the public healthcare system. As it is now, only singles, homosexual women and couples have access to public-sector treatment.
Some choose not to have children; others cannot have children. It is unknown how many LGBT+ persons do not have children because of either legal, financial, or practical challenges.
Overall, the share of persons aged 45-64 years who do not have children is twice as large in the LGBT+ group (29 %) as in the remaining population (15 %). Around twice as many LGBT+ persons of the same age neither have a partner nor children (7 % versus 13 % in the rest of the population). The figures are based on self-reported parenthood and may therefore include legally unrecognised parenthood.
In the period 1997-2007, where many of the 45-64-year-olds had children, the public healthcare system did not offer treatment for singles and homosexual women. Read more here: Timeline and legal protection. There are no available figures for LGBT+ persons aged 65 years or more. However, considering the historical context, we can assume that even fewer LGBT+ persons aged 65 years or more have started a family. In addition, those who did start a family and revealed their sexual orientation or gender identity later in life may no longer be in contact with their family.
Childless
“Fertility clinics have referred to the other parent as ‘dad’ instead of e.g. ‘co-mother’. This means that Maria has had to sign papers as the father of the child. That’s a bit archaic.”
- Lærke (married to Maria)
Our relationship with family, friends and acquaintances is an important part of life. It affects our quality of life and allows us to spend time with other people. Having someone to share experiences with also prevents loneliness and isolation.
Homosexuals and transgender persons do not see children who have moved out of home, their parents and other family members as often as heterosexuals and cisgender persons do. However, homosexuals, bisexuals and transgender persons more often than heterosexuals and cisgender persons talk to friends and acquaintances on a weekly basis.
These patterns clearly demonstrate the effect that strong social networks and friendships have on the well-being of LGBT+ persons. For some LGBT+ persons, being open about their sexual orientation or gender identity can lead to a total or partial break with family members, which increases their dependence on friends for social support. Even though strong friendships can be valuable, they are subject to uncertainty, as the bond between friends is easier to break than family bonds. This may increase their risk of homelessness and mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, especially during crises in life.
In a survey of living conditions of LGBT+ persons belonging to an ethnic minority, a larger share of LGBT+ persons belonging to an ethnic minority than other LGBT+ persons have experienced negative reactions from family members due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. Moreover, a much larger share of minority ethnic LGBT+ persons say that they have had to find a new place to live due to their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Having a partner or family can affect a person’s quality of life, especially in old age, where some experience health issues or require regular support and care. A qualitative survey among older LGBT+ citizens finds that many older LGBT+ citizens do not feel that they belong in existing offers for senior citizens. Instead, a majority of older LGBT+ citizens receive vital care from friends of the same age. However, the risk of losing this informal support network increases with age, and older men in poor health who neither have a partner nor children often experience a lack of support and care, e.g. help with visits to the doctor, daily meals and cleaning.
The Danish Health Authority has produced a pamphlet with information about older LGBT+ persons receiving elder care. It outlines the main challenges, including: fear of social exclusion, e.g. when living in a care home, fear of becoming the subject of gossip and fear of not being accepted or respected by the nursing staff.
Since 2015, the Danish care home Slottet (the Castle) – as the first in the country – has had an LGBT+ profile. Read more about Slottet on the website.
Family and friends
- Greve, J., Frøslev-Thomsen, J. og Andersen, M. (2023). LGBT+-familier med tre eller fire forældre. VIVE - Det Nationale Forsknings- og Analysecenter for Velfærd.
- Greve, J., Østergaard, S. V., Andersen, M., & Thomsen, M. K. (2022). Kortlægning af homo- og biseksuelles samt trans- personers levevilkår og samfundsdeltagelse. VIVE Det Nationale Forsknings- og Analysecenter for Velfærd.
- Meggers Matthiesen, S. (2019). Seksuel identitet sent i livet. Ældre homo- og biseksuelles sociale vilkår i Danmark. Ensomme Gamles Værn.